Mentor Lee Hill fails to pull it off!

Seventh level Guru and part time olive picker Mentor Lee Hill, left Paleochora totally unmoved yesterday when his unannounced attempt at breaking the world Yoghurt Flying record not only went unnoticed, but totally failed to achieve it’s objective.

Whilst the vast majority of the population went off to Grameno Beach to enjoy the "Clean Monday" kite flying and the music, Hill aided by his dedicated follower, Ms Teake, made the attempt on the record - currently standing at 0.00001cm for .00000057 seconds and held by the Maharishi Yogi Barefacedconartist - behind the back of the Petrakis Supermarket car park. A capacity crowd, believed to be Sid and Doris Bonkers from Oldham, or possibly Neasdon, watched in stunned amazement as absolutely nothing happened for an hour. Hill then gave up and went back into the village looking for an open kafenion and seeking solace with his favourite spirit, having first passed the hat round for donations.

Denying that the attempt was simply a way to drum up support for the forthcoming Knit Your Own Yoghurt Seminar this week end at the Doris Stokes Drop-In Spiritual Realignment Centre and Karaoke Bar (Paleochora Branch), all Hill would say was, “It’s now Lent,” but when pressed further wouldn’t say to whom or for how long.

Ms Teake was more forthcoming, blaming the failure of the attempt on the refusal of the Libyan authorities to allow Mentor Lee Hill to pass through their airspace and threatening to shoot him down if he got within 300Km of their coastline.

In a separate development, it would appear that the rumours of a source of Ayurvedic Oil being struck under Paleochora during the recent redevelopment of one of the towns many kafenions, have proved to be false. Those who bought shares in the proposed mine (prop. Mentor Lee Hill) are unlikely to get any money back. Hill was unavailable for comment last night due to being en route for Libya on a commercial airline, travelling first class.


Anonymous said...

Perhaps it would help if Mentor Lee Hill adopts a more, dare I say it, Halal approach to his yoghurt in future.

Fairly.Disturbed said...

I'm not surprised he failed with the yoghurt flying, he's obviously been on the cow stuff instead of the goat. Goats are all important, as have been mentioned before, and may well be mentioned again.

Anonymous said...

Goats are evil!



BrightOrangeGenitals said...

Thank you so much for the information, Madame Hookah and the rest of the the cafeneio have chartered a charabanc and are leaving for Moroccco immediately.

Malcolm Akkers said...

@Bright Orange Thingies.....Sir this is a family blog, kindly take you goats elsewhere or at least post something on your "Goats are delicious at Easter, Xmas and Divali" Blogspot.

BrightOrangeGenitals said...

I am currently in Morocco and have no time for blogging just at the moment.
Mentor Lee Hill has just popped in from Libya, and he and I are experimenting with the local wildlife and how much voltage is required to get them, plus ourselves, through the ceiling.