Fraud in the Psykik Community!

The damning evdence - Yakkitov/Passthejug is clearly shown second from the left in the third row.

The psykic community in Paleochora was agog yesterday at the startling revelation that Getti Yakittov, the recently arrived expert 5 rhythm dancer and gold medal winner, was not who she, or he, appeared to be.

We have learned that Enoch Root, Gentleman reporter from “Whose Woo – the paper every true psykik just KNOWS they need to read” yesterday revealed exclusively to his readership that the dancer known through out the length and breath of Paleochora as Gerti Yakkitov, is in fact Boris Passthejug, former Red Army Commando and winner of the gold medal for the shot put in the 1990 Olympics.

All Passthejug would say on being presented with photographic evidence of his past was, “It’s a fair cop Guv, I did it for the cash.”

Mentor Lee Hill, Seventh Level Guru and part time olive picker, expressed horror and alarm at the suggestion that anyone would claim to possess psychotic powers in order to obtain money from gullible tourists.

“I knew there was something funny about her aura as soon as I saw her go into the Gents toilet in Agios,” he said, “anyway that will be 50 Euros for the insightful insight and the aura reading, cash only please.”

Ms Demena declined to comment on the grounds that she was too busy communing with her inner child and preparing for the expected influx of tourists, whilst Ms Teake claimed to have known all along that Yakittov was a fraud because her spirit guide R’aki, had told her so.

Yakittov/Passthejug was last heard of in Souda Bay where he/she has apparently got a job as a deckhand on a passing American nuclear submarine.

Thought For The Day 1

Thought For The Day ®
With Rev. Elroy Cupboard®

You know, folks, while I am relaxing on my 20 million acre Wyoming ranch, I often like to go through my mail (that's 'post' for all you Limies!). Letters, faxes, telexes, e-mails...I get 'em all! Mostly they are folks, just like you, asking me questions about The Church of Scientifikological Phrenelogy® which I founded way back in 1998. (and clearly still have problems spelling - Mal).

Many of the questions are the same...these I file under 'F.A.Q.' which all of you who are webbynet savvy will know stands for 'Frequently Asked Questions'. I also get irritating letters from Customs and Excise, IRS, Consumer Protection Agencies and various investigative journalists. These I file under ' Frequently Asked Questions - Official' or 'F.A.Q. Off' for short.

One of the most 'frequently asked questions' goes something like this; "Rev. Elroy, Just what do you do when you find your soul has been inhabited by evil green aliens?"

Why, that's easy, Joe! They need to be EXORCISED!

First it is important to put on your Elroywear® Gold Lame leotard® (available square-cut or thong ...I favor thong, myself although some find chafing a problem - $299.99) and put on the 'Elroymedia® Alien Exorcise Work-Out Program DVD ® ' ($749.99). Feel the burn! No Pain No Gain! No Money, No Honey! And before you can say "Bom Shankar!" that l'il green critter will be totally exhausted - leaving you to get on with your life!

Views expessed in this article are not necessarily the views of Mal Akker. All Names and products are trademarks of The Church Of Scientifikological Phrenelogy® and a compulsory fee is payable when these words are said out loud. Photo - Rev. Elroy Cupboard levitating a globe live on stage at a Insurance Sales Conference in Reykjavik

Rumours,rumours and damned lies!

This Photo has been staged by a model *

A rumour currently going round the village concerns Gerti Yakkitov, a donkey and a burka. Unfortunately the laws of slander and libel, and a consideration for the sensibilities of our readers, mean that we are unable to repeat the rumour here. No goats are belived to be involved....this time.

Another local rumour has it that Ms Demeana has finally accepted the fact that she is no longer as young as she used to be and will shortly be bringing in an assistant to help her out with the more difficult aspects of being a psychotic psickci (and home in the evening from the kafenion.)

Speaking on condition of complete anonymity, Ms Teake, the longest serving Paleochora psikick and currently recovering from her telpathetic encounter with the Rakians, confessed that she hadn’t heard the rumour but thought it was a good one anyway and that

“….the sooner the old bat gives it up and leaves the field to us professionals, the better. There’s too many pysckiks in this village chasing too few tourists and if this carries on I might have to get a real job and then where would we all be? Anyway, would you like your chakras buffed up while you’re here Deary? Only 25 Euros to you.”

In the meantime, Mal Akkers is still refusing to reveal just what e-mail correspondence he had with the owners of http://www.auragoggles.com/ although it is believed to be known that a concerned Mentor Lee Hill, seventh level guru and part time olive picker, will shortly be making an announcement voicing his concerns concerning the need for aura protection this summer.

* The model is wearing a burka in order to conceal her identity.