Clean Monday - Will he pull it off?

Ayurvedic Oil 100 Euros per litre

Olive Oil 5 Euros per litre

Mentor Lee Hill, seventh level guru and part time olive picker, has hinted at plans for what he called an “uplifting spectacular” to take place at Grameno Beach this forthcoming Clean Monday.

Speaking on terms of strictest confidentiality, all he would say is that if everything came off as planned he would be the first to be surprised and amazed.

Speculation is rife that the surprise has some connection with the illegal drilling for Ayurvedic Oil that has allegedly been taking place within Paleochora, allegedly disguised as an alleged renovation to a well known eating place within the village.

The drilling rumour was sparked when the price of Ayurvedic massage oil went through the roof, reaching 100 Euros a litre on the spot market.

Commenting on the need to keep your pitta intake in balance, local psychotic Ms Demena, lately returned from her mysterious self imposed exile to Outer Mongolia, or Clacton, was heard to mutter that:

“I wasn't aware that there was a market for spots in Paleochora, I'll have to look into that. Anyway, in the Ayurvedic system, pita is said to be composed of fire and water; it governs all heat, metabolism and transformation in the mind and body. It controls how we digest food, how we metabolize our sensory perceptions, and how we discriminate between right and wrong. Pitta must be kept in balance, too. Too much can lead to anger, criticism, ulcers, rashes and thinning hair. But remember, Dear, I’ll spout any old cobblers if the dosha is right and mine’s a pita gyros with extra chips please"