Even more Apologies

Glitz was the order of the day yesterday as revellers donned their tiaras and plunging necklines (and the girls their frocks) for cocktails and canapes in the delightful Georgos' Bar to see off Bon Vivant Mr. Michael McTiernan (pronounced McTeirnan) and his fragrant wife, Jennifer. But two luminaries of the town were notably absent.

Dr. Mal Akkers and Mentor Lee Hill wish to profusely apologise for not showing up at the event and disappointing all of their disciples. This was largely due to the fact that they were not invited.

Dr. Akkers said: " We were most surprised. Here is a man who outwardly looks like he could have spent a lot of money with us...dingly-dangly earing, beard, strange ill-fitting clothes....and yet underneath beats the heart of a cynic!"

Lee Hill added: "Given his enthusiasm for deep sea diving, we were considering asking him to be present as safety expert at our forthcoming Re-Birthing Workshop."

Mr. McTiernan's press officer, Mr. Max Coveridge of Chelsea said this morning: " My client is unable to comment as he is bed-ridden this morning. He has a badly bruised Aura following a heavy bout of Reiki therapy last night" When asked if he meant Raki Therapy, Mr. Coveridge said; "I know what I mean, sunshine!"

Mr. Coveridge went on to say that it was "Unfair" for the Gurus to pick on his client in this way, "especially as he has suffered a severe mobility problem for most of his life due to a heavy leaning to the left"

Apologies! Again

Dr. Mal Akkers and Mentor Lee Hill would like to apologise for not posting regularly this week.

They have just returned from a spiritual retreat in the Sub-Continent.

Dr. Akkers said; "We have been to an Ashram in Assam run by a bloke called Akram. Or was it an Assam in Akram run by a bloke called Ashram? Or maybe an Ashram in Akram run by a bloke called Assam..."

The holiday was provided by the firm Simply India. Motto; Simply Simple Holidays By Simple People For Simple People.

Mentor Lee Hill wishes to add that "Although my memory of the Tantric Buttock Massage workshop is hazy, I was emphatically never in Akram"

More gossip

Mentor Lee Hill has confirmed that he will be shortly circulating a petition to limit the noises made by the Paleochora Road Train.

"It goes "whoo-whoo" at the turns in the roads which makes people think that they can get their woo woo from the train rather than getting it from a trained woo woo practicioner. We have all spent lots of money training in obscure arts, under obscure gurus who only those who have trained with have ever heard of; in places no one in their right mind would ever visit - like Bafshot. It's only fair that we woo woo practicioners get the opportunity to recover some, if not all, of our costs and make a bloody good living - I mean receive enough in donations to keep our body and multiple spirits intact."

Mal Akker