Akkers stripped bare!

Dr. Mal Akkers, formally know as Guru to the stars, Mystik, Qualified Transcendental Methodist, Spirit guide channeler, Expert on Tantric Skydiving techniques and 5th. level Priest of The Temple of Syrinx has returned from an absence and henceforth wishes only to be known as *!@^ .

Last night Akkers, sorry *!@^ said this; "I have searched by inner being and my heart tells me that this will be a positive step - to strip myself down to basics. All of my other major bodily organs are in agreement although my mother is distaught." I feel it will help me adopt more of a Zen approach to my studies of Hindooism and Shitto. Besides I just got a quote for my new business cards and not only were they going to be the size of postcards they were going to cost a bloody fortune".

Ms. Demena, when informed of this headline during a late night session with the spirit world, was said to have become agitated and excited at the prospect of Akkers stepping out of his trademark favourite pair of purple Y-fronts.


9 comments:

Fairly.Disturbed said...

Mr Knackers, I am currently feeling rather agitated and faint myself, at the thought of shitto and emerging from purple underwear.
I am going to have to lie down. I hope to catch up with all these vast goings on, when I am more myself and when the DEI god has got his underlings back under control.

Fairly.Disturbed said...

Well I lay down and got up again but see that I posted before at 1:34 AM and have got all confused and shall retire back to lying down again because it's obviously not time to get up is it

Fairly.Disturbed said...

Are there any pictures of the purple underpants, I am agog, ? a gog, what is a gog and why am I it, oh no, back to bed...I got up too soon.

Nog bad the improbable said...

Dear Sir or Madam, the clocks don't vhange until next week end. Go back to bed at once.

nog bad the improbable said...

...or even change

Fairly.Disturbed said...

I did go back to bed and overslept and have missed the charabanc to Morocco. I am still in a half-way hibernatory state (it being much colder in the east where we reside and we are forced to spend large amounts of time in the caves of the Ha Canyon during winter).

I'm sorry to say, Mr Knickers, that I am still obsessing with your purple y-fronts (this may of course be something to do with my vata levels having got totally out of synch somehow and I have still to track down Chakra Khan's agent to deal with other balancing matters.

Meantime, could a webcam be the answer to a lot of questions (and seeing the purple y-fronts) and perhaps I could receive some desperately needed treatments by such a method if I can't actually get over to you for a while.

p.s. I am wondering if I am a gog if I could be related to Mr nog. Good gog rather comes to mind especially if this Mr nog is the bad one.

Time for bed Zebedee.
www.amiright.com/parody/60s/bobdylan35.shtml

Malcolm Akkers said...

@ Ms fairly.disturbed,

Sir, you are a very strange man and if you continue in this manner I will have no option but to send Ms Demena and her goat around to give you a good thrashing!

Doctor.GooRoo said...

Ms Disturbed has been taken into protective custody for the sake of everyone's sanity. She appeared totally out control and was spouting some rubbish about how excited she was at the thought of a damned good thrashing. I do apologise. I am sure a couple of days and a cold goat's yoghurt milk compress will calm her down again and bring her back to her senses. However, having said that it is doubtful that she ever had any, so who knows what may happen.

Mrs Knickers said...

Mr Knackers,put your knickers back on at once, shitto or no shitto.