Tragedy Strikes

Ms Demena has accident with candle


It has been reported the tragedy struck Ms Demena, the recently returned psykotic physic*, during a power cut in Paleochora yesterday evening.

When the lights failed during a thunderstorm, Ms Demena, who had, that very morning, been out at hard at work counselling and providing her traditional Raki therapy to a passing ex-pat, grabbed a handful of candles to light her room.


Unfortunately it would appear that in her haste to get illuminated, she grabbed and used the last of her supply of Hopi Ear candles.

“I’m distraught!” she whaled**, “Petrakis have run out and there appears to be no more Hopi Ear candles in the whole of Crete!”

Asked why there appeared to be such a shortage of such spiritually necessary items, she blamed the continued and increasing opposition of the Hopi people to having their ears cut off to make candles.

“It’s not as if anyone needs BOTH ears,” Ms Demena stated, ”most people can get by happily with one or even none. These people have no idea what they’re doing to my balance; my bank manager gets so upset darling!”

Asked what happens next to Ms Demena and those gentlemen who have booked with her to receive her “Hot Wax Speciality, Poor and Aura Cleansing, Spiritual Revival Treatment –a snip at 50 Euros – discretion guaranteed”, her manager, part time seventh level guru and olive picker Mentor Lee Hill, declined.

However later he was heard to mutter something to the effect that he didn’t see why she couldn’t use an ordinary candle like every other pyskik he knows and proceeded to tell an off colour story about some nuns.




*or is it psyclical psychotic?

**Ms Demena is apparently taking part in the current Japanese “scientific” cull of whales.

4 comments:

Fairly.Disturbed said...

The very posh Six Senses Spa up in Elounda are offering ear candling, they may have some spares for you, perhaps all is not lost after all.

I am considering their 'cleansing back facial' only 80 euros, I've never had the back of my face cleansed before.

Malcolm Akkers said...

@Fairly disturbed;

Thanks for your information concerning the candles, it's nice to know that there's someone out there who still cares about maintianing and possibbly even raising the level of WooWoo in Paleochora.

I'll pass the info onto Ms Demena, assuming I can wake her up sometime this week, she had a heavy day and night in Azogires.

Fairly.Disturbed said...

I'm not surprised she's had a heavy day and night after using 12 volt batteries, is she still on the ceiling?

Malcolm Akkers said...

On the ceiling? She went through it!But at least it's put the smile back on her face!