She's back!

(Photograph for illustrative purposes only - posed by a model - I'm still trying to locate a photo of MsDemena. Mal Akker)

She’s back!

The kafenion owners of Paleochora were breathing a sigh of relief last Friday when it became apparent that Ms Demena had returned from her self induced exile, allegedly having been seeking further wisdom and enlightenment in Outer Mongolia (or Clacton - depending on which story one believes.)

Vehemently denying that she’d been deported from Crete after having been arrested for being drunk and incapable whilst in charge of a goat, Ms Demena told local part time olive picker and seventh level guru Mentor Lee Hill, that she’d been off on a spiritual journey to recharge her psykotic batteries.

“Just think of me as a psyical Energiser Bunny darling,” she is quoted as saying,
“If there's doe involved I'm your woman, I’m happy to anything for a buck.”

Ms Demeana has told a number of people that she returned to the island following ‘demands from my people’, but failed to specify whether these demands were for her to come back to Crete or to get out of Outer Mongolia – or even Clacton.

Suggestions that she would be opening a branch of the ‘Doris Stokes Home for the Terminally Confused But Rich and Gullible’, a break away organisation* from the existing Doris Stokes Drop-In Spiritual Realignment Centre and Karaoke Bar (Paleochora Branch), have yet to be confirmed.



*The two organisations allegedly split over who had the right to do what and with which and to whom when it came to the extraction of spiritually lead monetary contributions made by the attendees at the centre. (Alternatively it was a falling out over who paid for the last round in Agios which came to 78 Euros; Ms Demena being adamant that she hadn’t ordered the triple “Crooked Orgasm Between the Sheets Daiquiri Screwdriver with an extra shot of tequila ” and so she wasn’t going to pay for it.)

2 comments:

Persephone said...

“Just think of me as a psyical Energiser Bunny darling,”

Yes, but is this the new rampant rabbit version, I wonder.

Glad she's back from wherever she's been.

Malcolm Akkers said...

@ Persephone;
I'm not sure but I think she's still using using the lead/acid 12volt heavy duty car version. She once told me that this type of battery lasts much longer and the only disadvantanges are that you need a special connector and a length of insulated cable, and that it won't fit in the bedside table drawer.