Thought For The Day 1

Thought For The Day ®
With Rev. Elroy Cupboard®

You know, folks, while I am relaxing on my 20 million acre Wyoming ranch, I often like to go through my mail (that's 'post' for all you Limies!). Letters, faxes, telexes, e-mails...I get 'em all! Mostly they are folks, just like you, asking me questions about The Church of Scientifikological Phrenelogy® which I founded way back in 1998. (and clearly still have problems spelling - Mal).

Many of the questions are the same...these I file under 'F.A.Q.' which all of you who are webbynet savvy will know stands for 'Frequently Asked Questions'. I also get irritating letters from Customs and Excise, IRS, Consumer Protection Agencies and various investigative journalists. These I file under ' Frequently Asked Questions - Official' or 'F.A.Q. Off' for short.

One of the most 'frequently asked questions' goes something like this; "Rev. Elroy, Just what do you do when you find your soul has been inhabited by evil green aliens?"

Why, that's easy, Joe! They need to be EXORCISED!

First it is important to put on your Elroywear® Gold Lame leotard® (available square-cut or thong ...I favor thong, myself although some find chafing a problem - $299.99) and put on the 'Elroymedia® Alien Exorcise Work-Out Program DVD ® ' ($749.99). Feel the burn! No Pain No Gain! No Money, No Honey! And before you can say "Bom Shankar!" that l'il green critter will be totally exhausted - leaving you to get on with your life!

Views expessed in this article are not necessarily the views of Mal Akker. All Names and products are trademarks of The Church Of Scientifikological Phrenelogy® and a compulsory fee is payable when these words are said out loud. Photo - Rev. Elroy Cupboard levitating a globe live on stage at a Insurance Sales Conference in Reykjavik