Grand Opening

A crowd of at least 7 people were treated to a spectacular event at the grand opening of the Doris Stokes Drop-In Spiritual Realignment Centre and Kareoke Bar (Paleochora Branch).

The impressive facility, which is conveniently located in a lush modern portacabin next to a half-finished and abandoned building down a dirt track was opened by none other than well known Indian mystik, healer, guru, shakti and 80's pop singing phenomenon, Chakra Khan (left).

Tragedy struck, however, when an accidental death occurred during the demonstration by Mr. Khan of the famous indian rope trick. The victim, an elderly man who is a well known coffee addict and can be seen frequenting cafes throughout the town, was indentified by his final words as Zachary Horis Gala.

Police are urging any relatives of Mr. Gala to come forward and make the necessary arrangements soon, as the police station is 'starting to hum a bit'

Police and rescue workers are still searching rooftops in the town for a small boy, last seen wearing a turban and a loin cloth.