This Photo has been staged by a model *
A rumour currently going round the village concerns Gerti Yakkitov, a donkey and a burka. Unfortunately the laws of slander and libel, and a consideration for the sensibilities of our readers, mean that we are unable to repeat the rumour here. No goats are belived to be involved....this time.
Another local rumour has it that Ms Demeana has finally accepted the fact that she is no longer as young as she used to be and will shortly be bringing in an assistant to help her out with the more difficult aspects of being a psychotic psickci (and home in the evening from the kafenion.)
Speaking on condition of complete anonymity, Ms Teake, the longest serving Paleochora psikick and currently recovering from her telpathetic encounter with the Rakians, confessed that she hadn’t heard the rumour but thought it was a good one anyway and that
“….the sooner the old bat gives it up and leaves the field to us professionals, the better. There’s too many pysckiks in this village chasing too few tourists and if this carries on I might have to get a real job and then where would we all be? Anyway, would you like your chakras buffed up while you’re here Deary? Only 25 Euros to you.”
In the meantime, Mal Akkers is still refusing to reveal just what e-mail correspondence he had with the owners of http://www.auragoggles.com/ although it is believed to be known that a concerned Mentor Lee Hill, seventh level guru and part time olive picker, will shortly be making an announcement voicing his concerns concerning the need for aura protection this summer.
* The model is wearing a burka in order to conceal her identity.
Rumours,rumours and damned lies!
Ms Teake under attack?
A "Group Session" of Reiki drinkersShe has apparently received notification that on Sunday night(s) at 9:00 p.m. in their local time zone Raki practitioners turn off all non-essential lights, and become the light.
First they telepathically connect with one another using the distant Reiki symbol, thus becoming one united light. Then they send Raki with the pure intention "Peace, Love, Health, Prosperity and Well-being for all beings." At the same time they visualize a world at peace and the earth returning to a healthy state of balance; see the air, streams, rivers and seas being cleansed.
Ms Teake has also been told that for those who wish to participate, this can also be a wonderful way to personally receive a Raki treatment at the same time. They encouraged her simply be open to bathe in the energy as she was sending Reiki out, telling her, telepathically, that "Group sessions" of this nature enhance the strength of Raki's healing power exponentially.
“The voices in my head encouraged me to do it this morning," she said, "they kept asking ... ‘Will you please join us for Raki hour at 9 p.m. Sunday night? That is 9 p.m. in your own time zone and we will create a wave of Reiki energy across the planet.’ They plan to do this every Sunday night for the immediate future, and perhaps beyond. “
“That’s just not on,” said the Paleochora psykik,” no one gets my Raki; Sunday or any other night!”
Visitor expected?
Mentor Lee Hill today announced his plans to bring one of his own mentor's words to the enlightened of Paleochora.
The much feted Rev. Elroy Cupboard, charismatic multi-billionaire head of the International Church of Scientificological Phrenology (motto: One visit and you will need your bumps read) will be regularly contributing his 'Thought For The Day' through this very blogspot in a very complicated merchandise tie-in deal.
"This man is a spiritual genius", gushed Hill yesterday. "He set up the Bank Of Gavdos (Offshore) known simply as B.O.G. Off which is 100% owned by a Cayman Island Trust which shares are controlled by an office on Gibraltar which is acting on behalf of a private equity company in Nassau, Bahamas which may or may not be wholly owned by a gentleman living in either Wagga Wagga or East Grinstead"
Watch this Blog for the first exciting Thought for the Day by Elroy Cupboard
Protective clothing to be needed for the summer?
Ms Demena yesterday issued a public statement urging all tourists visiting Paleochora this summer to wear her specially designed “Aura Pervy Peeper Protection” clothing. This came following the recent discovery that “Aura Goggles “ were on sale via the interwebnet thingy at a mere 20 Euros plus p&p and that a pair, or several boxes, had apparently been ordered by one of the more insane gurus of Paleochora.
“I get an itchy feeling at the very thought of someone going round looking at people’s auras without their knowledge and so I felt that for a modest 253 Euros per kit, I could offer some protection to visitors and make them feel safe from unwanted aura peepers,” said Ms Demena before going on to attempt to get some free advertising by mentioning her own blogspot at http://www.paleochora-msdemena.blogspot.com/
Mentor Lee Hill, seventh level guru and part time olive picker, denied that he had ordered 46 boxes of Aura Goggles but refused to comment on the rumour that he and Ms Teake were developing their own version in their research facility in “Area Odes.”
Make mine a Vergina!
Gertie Yakkitov was confused today, stating; "I really don't know why there is so much fuss about a popular brand of Greek beer"
Bill & Hilary In New Vagina Scandal
Some cucumbers yesterday.
Enigmatic Body Performance Artist and 5 rhythm tantrik yoga expert, Gertie Yakittov was briefly detained at the local Police station yesterday. Officers patiently explained to her that the fruit & veg section of Petrakis supermarket was probably not the best place to preview her up and coming event 'The One-woman Flat Mother Earth Vagina Monologue and Demonstration'
The English tourists, Bill & Hilary Bonkers from Barking, who were also involved in the incident were released without charge. They commented today; "Bill was just saying how wonderful the melons looked when she (Yakittov) started taking an interest in his plums (which we were going to take to the beach). "
Bill continued " Before you could say 'Save The Yangtze Dolphins!' she was up on the counter giving us a sneak preview. I mean... they were just taking in a delivery of cucumbers...there could have been a very nasty accident."
Local police said this morning in a press release that they were aware of Yakittov's forthcoming Vagina Event and specially trained officers would be "looking into it". Also everything taken down in Petrakis supermarket yesterday could be used in evidence.
Following the local police press comments, a high level police spokesman from Hania confirmed that "our policy that the old ones are the best remains unchanged"
Mentor Lee Hill claims to be able to do it with a goat!
– see http://www.rationalistinternational.net/article/2008/20080310/en_1.html -
Mentor Lee Hill, seventh level guru and part time olive picker, announced to an astounded audience gathered for the Independence Day celebrations by the Paleochora Town hall that he had personally put a spell on a goat in Koundura and expected it to fall over dead in time for his annual vegetarian barbecue on 25 April.
There is expected to be a rush of panic buying of frozen goat at the Petrakis freezer counter as worried followers of the guru, Sid and Doris Bonkers of Oldham, or was it Neasden, were seen queuing up waiting for the shop to reopen on Weds 26 March.
Asked to comment on Mentor Lee Hill’s claims, Ms Demena, local sykik and part time abattoir attendee, fell over laughing; but this is thought to have been a side effect of her recently completed Raki Therapy
At the time of writing, the goat is said to be totally unconcerned.
