“This is nonsense,” the sykotic psychic raved, “everybody knows that no harm ever came from an overdose of raki and anyway, my over 80’s naked tantric sex and yoghurt sessions on the Sandy Beach every Friday at 2pm have very little to do with drugs, demonic music or pornography. (But if you’ve got some, I might know someone who might be interested.)”
“Anyway, what’s wrong with believing that massaging your feet with expensive oil or dancing naked around an olive tree in an anti clockwise direction while singing ‘OOOM’ after having paid me 356 Euros to tell you how to do it is going to bring you spiritual enlightenment? Mr Davies is just upset that I’m making more money out of it than he is.”
Mentor Lee Hill, seventh level guru and part time olive picker, wasn’t available for comment.
Later that day after it became clear that the priest’s warnings might have contained some measure of truth when “Dr.” Insa Ne’s head appeared to explode. It is believed that she had spent too much time stimulating her chakras.
*http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1021712/Yoga-horoscopes-lead-possession-Devil-claims-Cardinal.html
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